Today is sunny and yet a few clouds are still around, were in for another bast of winter this week. I'm so tired of it Could we please have some warmer weather.
I went to see my Councillor last week and am still struggling with my own self respect and body image. Sometimes I feel no one will ever look at me as a women again, something I need to work on. Telling myself that I am a good person, and that I have more to offer than just my breasts. But do men see past that, what do they see when they look at you, does it matter that I wear prosthetic. I just don't know. My wedding anniversary was last month and I sat on the day and cried for the man that treated me so poorly mentally and emotionally, I asked him if he thought of me on the day and he said to be honest NO.
I find it hard to put myself out there, I can joke about my life, but deep down I am hurt, and some what shy, I'm not sure if I would want to put myself out there for the dating scene. I think I will just rely on friends to go for dinner and enjoy a summer of golf, cards and lots of time on the water, if it ever warms up.
I still find it hard to believe that none of my brothers have bothered to call and see how I'm doing, but they have spoken to my ex. Strange that, it feels like a boys club, not a family.
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