November 5, 2017
I have had an wonderful relaxing weekend by myself. I've taken walks on the beach, around the park and up to the shops, ate my favorite foods and relaxed with a drink or two.
I've managed to clean my bathroom from top to bottom and helped our new neighbor out with her shower. The people she bought from were pigs, the shower glass was so dirty you couldn't tell if someone was in the shower or not. She is a lovely 80 year old lady and has been in hospital with a heart attack, we think all over the mess the place was left in. Poor thing, so that was my good deed yesterday, I cleaned her shower for her and replaced some glass in a frame for her. And gave her a nice bowl of homemade chicken soup.
I recently read a book by Suzy Welch called 10 minutes, 10 months or 10 years.
Here is a little info from this book, "We all want to lead a life of our own choosing. But in today’s
accelerated world, with its competing priorities, information overload,
and confounding options, we can easily find ourselves steered by
impulse, stress, or expedience. Are our decisions the right ones? Or
are we being governed, time and time again, and against our best
intentions, by the demands of the moment? With 10-10-10, Welch proposes a
transformative solution to deal with this pressure, as she shares her
own life-tested strategy to help us regain control of our choices - and
reclaim our lives."
I found this book empowering and have used it a few times. I have to go to Sydney this week to see my Oncologist, I have decided to take the train down, my reason: I couldn't ride in the car with my husbands driving for 10 more minutes, he drives with 2 feet, we don't own a standard, its an automatic, so there is no need to throw your passenger around at every round about or stop light. I have asked him to stop and let it be known to him how bad it makes my back pain. I gave him another chance last week before I made my decision and he did it again, so I told him I would be taking the train to Sydney, why, I said I can't take your driving for 10 more minutes. He said and you think the train is going to be any better, my reply was it would be relaxing. I'm planning on downloading this book to listen to again on my way down, its a 7 hour train ride.
I feel his reaction is very disrespectful to me. But I won't harp on it, I'll just make other arrangements for me.
Quote " There is no guilt for looking after me"
November 3, 2017
I backed away from my blog for a while, it had been along time since I had felt I had something to say. Life gets busy and our lives sometimes take a turn we don't expect. We are still doing the summers, we usually go to Canada in May and back to Australia in October.
Last year was different, we arrived back to Australia October 1st 2017 as we had a wedding to attend on Norfolk Island. If we hadn't of had the wedding I would have stayed in Canada, I was feeling lost, anxious and had spent the summer talking to a councilor. I felt like I deserved so much more from my husband, emotionally and physically. And the situation had been going on for many many years.
We talked and decided we should try counseling in Australia.
After the wedding, I had a call in early November that my nephew Chris had passed away suddenly from an Aneurysm, its a hereditary medical problem in our family. I decided to fly home to Canada for the funeral and to help my niece deal with the shock of loosing her husband at 45. My Mom took ill after the funeral and I stayed to help with her, then my grandson got pneumonia for the first time, he had it several more times during the winter. I decided to stay in Canada, have my hand surgery, help with Oliver (my grandson) as well as my daughter through her major surgery in March.
This would give my husband time to see a councilor and try to sort out his issues. I enjoyed my time with family. I agreed to come back to Australia this year in hopes that we could save our marriage.
I was given a book by a friend this summer and I have found the daily readings have helped me alot to learn to look after myself, not to take on issues of my husbands, like him sneaking around smoking all summer, I'm learning that its not always my issue and to let go and let god. Breath.
So I am going back to curves to work on myself, I need to continue my fitness journey, get stronger, fitter, for me.
I will attempt to write more often.
January 27, 2016
It has been far to long since I updated here. We have been back in Australia since November 22, 2015 and it has been busy. I had an oncology apt in December 2015. he is pleased with what I am doing even though we both know I still have some issues from Chemotherapy 7 years ago, my memory is still not the best and I have troubles with words and tend to have to describe it to get people to guess it, this can be very frustrating and at times brings me to tears. I still struggle with having a good nights sleep, I often wake in a very hot and sweaty state and it often takes me an hour or so to get over it, we have our air conditioning set for 23c and the fan on high. So I function on 3-4 hours sleep a day and have found myself napping some days, which is very unlike me. Professor Beale (oncologist) wanted me to try and new drug this year called Gabapentin, its for shingles and seizures, but I decided not to go on it as I have an allergy to cornstarch and refuse to take any more, its already in 4 of my meds now, I will talk to my family Doctor about something to help me sleep periodically.
My lovely daughter and her family decided to help me out with a membership to Curves this year and I am doing pretty well with it, I try to go early in the morning (6am) 5 days a week, and then try to walk extra during the day, this is easy since we live on the beach. I have also started golfing on Monday's with a ladies league, learning the rules of play and seeing all the wildlife on the courses is fun. I had to wait for 4 roos to cross the other day before I could hit the ball.
My darling son and family gave us Brian Adams tickets for a concert in Sydney Australia in March, we can't wait to go to that.
Hubby is still getting over his ordeal from last years bowel cancer surgery. he should be trying to get more exercise but doesn't and his diet could be cleaner, all his issue not mine. He will have a one year colonoscopy in the next few weeks and here is hoping all is well.
I have been feeling a bit home sick lately, my Mom lost her best friend of 60 years, they use to call each other 4xs a day and went to breakfast every sunday.
I miss my friends and family there, I am hoping to be able to spend more time with everyone this year when we are back.
I have begun painting again for the first time in almost a year. I have missed it and plan to do more.
I have to go in hospital tomorrow for a D & C as my Gynecologist is checking the lining of the Uterus again to be sure there are no cancer cells as I have been on Tamoxifen now for 7 years and it can be a side effect of the drug. Praying that all is well.
We are having a 60th birthday for my Husband in Sydney Australia next month followed by a trip to Tasmania, we are both looking forward to this.
Then to Scotland in June and Norfolk Island in October, its looking like a busy year ahead.
Today's Quote:
October 1, 2015
It's hard to believe that the summer has come to an end, we have had a warmer than normal September.
The leaves are starting to turn and there is a chill in the air. It was down to 4c last night.
We have enjoyed our time at the lake this year, some of us to much.
Hubby felt that after 13 years of not smoking it was ok to smoke cigars daily and even some cigarettes, what was he thinking, he has beaten cancer and that hasn't been a wake up call to live a better life. I finally confronted him as summer drew to an end, I guess he thought I didn't know, but unfortunately he wreaked every time he came back from fishing, and while he ran to the bathroom to wash it off his hands and brush his teeth, he still breathed like an old ash tray, it was disgusting. And beside so many people told me what he was doing, yes its not my issue, but it does affect me.
It was time for a conversation, I reminded him that he had just cheated death, not once but 3 times in March, I asked him if he felt he needed help to stop smoking, he said no, its ok, I don't need to see anyone, I've got it under control.
A week later he came down with a bad case of shingles, another sign that his body has been under some stress since he was sick.
I hope this is his final wake up call, I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy, but some times people need a scare to bring them back to reality.
I myself have continued to walk this summer when it wasn't to warm, I haven't had the time to paint this summer like I have wanted to, hopefully I will get more time when we get back to Australia.
I have discovered bread making, I am loving my 4 dollar bread machine, yesterday I made 2 loaves of gluten free buck wheat bread and froze them so that I can have some bread when we move out of here, we will have 3 weeks floating around until we fly out. My weight has remained down and my goal is to lose some more once we get back to Australia, I have missed walking on the beach.
Looking forward to our next journey.
Today's Quote:
August 03, 2015
The summer is going fast and I have been taking time to walk every day, even walking one of my neighbors, she is in her 80's and usually just sits inside everyday. So I started taking her for small walks each day and she has lost 10 lbs and has given up drinking 5 cans of pop a day. What a difference it is making. Her Doctor is even impressed.
Charlie continues to get better, he even tried Kayaking yesterday and was out for a few hours.
His abdomen is still tender and the swelling is still going down from all the surgeries. He saw his new family Doctor and he remarked that he still looked very thin, he is eating well and out daily fishing, he needs to start a daily routine of exercise and do some juicing.
Myself, I am doing fine, the same old aches and pains and I will see my new family Doctor this Thursday. Other than my arthritis I have no other complaints.
We have a new addition to our family, his name is Oliver Finnegan Pryde, he is so adorable and weighed 9lbs 12 ounces. My daughter Stacey is a natural Mom. She has waited for this moment for 7 years. We are enjoying time with him.
The lake seems to be quieter this year, not as many families. We have some new friends and some old ones that have moved into the park. It helps to pass the time playing cards and visiting, afternoons on the boat with a picnic.
Oliver
Today's Quote: “The chief beauty about time
is that you cannot waste it in advance.
The next year, the next day, the next hour are lying ready for you,
as perfect, as unspoiled,
as if you had never wasted or misapplied
a single moment in all your life.
You can turn over a new leaf every hour
if you choose.”
―
Arnold Bennett
June 11, 2015
Well again it has been weeks since I wrote. Charlie had a barium test last month and after a stuff up by the x-ray place had to have it redone at the hospital. The a visit to his surgeon to get the news that nothing was leaking and he was booked in 10 days for his reversal surgery.
I am happy to report that this surgery has been successful, all is healing well. He still has a lot of swelling of his abdomen and that will take a few more months to settle down.
So we have packed up the house, packed our bags and are ready to head back to Canada for the summer, I feel it will be a great relaxing place for him to finish recuperating.
We are looking forward to our new grandson arriving soon there and will spend as much time as we can with him. Looking forward to seeing my son and his very busy family and enjoying a few ball games, fishing and time with friends and family.
I have finished my time here at Anytime Fitness and am happy with my results, I have lost 6 kilos and 6 inches, not bad for the stressful time I have had over the last few months.
I will endeavour to post more regularly when we get settled in and I get back to exercising.
Today's Quote:
May 2, 2015
Well I haven't written in a while, I haven't had much time since Hubby came home. I brought him home from hospital on March 27, 2015, he felt terrible and did not want to leave the hospital, a nurse told him to rest for a couple more hours and then leave, I was a bit shocked, it was about emtying the bed before the weekend.
I brought him home and we had friends coming to see him for the weekend, which was a help to me, they did the meals while I did nursing duties, changing ileostomy bags that just kept leaking, his out put was to high in which no one told us what was to much so he lost 2 more kilos, 13k all told. I was checking his blood pressure ever 2 hours as this was a good judge that he was dehydrating on me if it was below 100/60.
We have had a rough road with the bags trying out everything under the sun, after 4 weeks at home I thing we have one that works. We have also discovered its best to change it first thing in the morning after his shower and before he eats. So I have been doing this, hadn't change these since I was a PSW in my 20s.
It's been a learning curve for both of us, the greatest challenge now is to get more weight back on him so he can have the ileostomy reversed. He is now at 66 kilos and I can't seem to get him above that, his surgeon wanted him to be at 70 for his next surgery, but that is near impossible, the man is eating every 2 hours, donuts seem to help with thickening so we try to keep these on hand, the problem is that the ileostomy is at the end of the stomach and beginning of the bowel, so what ever he eats comes out faster than normal so by thickening it up our hope is that he is getting some nourishment, he has plenty of protein through out the day and truthfully if I ate what he is I would look like a sumo wrestler. He is slowing regaining strength and walking twice a day. Going for a test on Monday with the hope that there are no more leaks and he can have his reversal surgery sooner rather than later.
I have to say that we met some really great nurses during our time in hospital and we met some real assholes, those I will deal with eventually when he no longer has to go back into hospital. The good ones were so supportive knowing that I had no family there to talk to or get a reassuring hug from so they stepped in, they will be rewarded when he goes back in and in heaven for being so kind to their patients and family.
Here is a definition of an ileostomy.
An ileostomy is an opening in your belly wall that is made during surgery. An ileostomy is used to move waste out of the body when the colon or rectum is not working properly. The word "ileostomy" comes from the words "ileum" and "stoma." Your ileum is the lowest part of your small intestine.
I guess I should tell you how I have done through all this, has it been hard, you bet it has, the 5 days in ICU felt like a life time and so hard to see someone you love giving up, just wanting it to be all over, to watch this man waste away to nothing. But I had to keep up the brave face each and every day, not letting him see me cry as it would have only made it harder for him. Often the nurses would give me a hug and tell me to get a drink or take a walk just to clear my head. It's times like this that family support is everything, I need to thank my sister Linda French for the numerous calls and skype visits to check on us both. The online messages from family and friends and the calls and cards have helped so much, even family that was on vacation would email daily checking in. The family that visited when they could and made the long drives from Sydney and the Central Coast and Charlie's brother who has been a pillar of strength for us and Kerry who was there for me when I needed her.
Today's Quote:
